Murr's Pain in His Butt

AND NO IT'S NOT ME THIS TIME!

On Saturday of last week when he could hardly walk because of some pain he was having in his butt, I had the joyful task of doing an inspection to see if I could diagnose what the problem was. My initial diagnosis after the inspection was that he had a hemerroid. He decided it was a tumor that was growing down there and it was somehow attached to his spine because every time he coughed (which was often because he was trying to get over bronchitis) it nearly brought him to his knees. I offered to take him to the ER but he declined.

By Monday morning he was ready for me to make an appointment somewhere, anywhere to get him some relief. So off to the proctologist we go Monday afternoon. Did you know you could get an infected/abcessed rectal gland? Neither did I. That's what the butt doctor decided it was and he lanced it there in the office. It evidently was as painful as it sounds. He claims that I hit every bump in the road in between the doctor's office and the house. I'm pretty sure I missed a few because they were too far apart to hit both of them at once!

I'm still the lucky one that is doing the post-lancing inspections to make sure everything is healing nicely, and I'm happy to report that his butt seems to be doing just fine. I'm sure he'll be happy when it's back to being just me that is his only pain in the butt, and I'll certainly be happy when I can hang up my inspection badge!